I was a younger fella, no idea what was comin'
then I auditioned for a TV show.
If I had known what I know now I would've started runnin'
but that was not the way it's mean to go.
I got the news that somehow I had been the one who's chosen
to lead the fight against vampire kind.
And so I decimated all the foes we were opposin'
But see my friends had something else in mind.
One of the vampires, she bit me, while we were hooking up.
And then I found out it fit me, what she was cooking up.
'Cause now I'm half man, half vamp, I can outfight and out run.
They call me The Chosen One!
So it's upsetting but it's not the end, it's the beginning
of all the cooler things that I can do.
With all my powers I had finally started nonstop winning
but see the downside was that I was screwed.
'Cause somehow everywhere I turned, by vamps I was confronted
but how or why was nothing I could say.
See it turns out when you're half vamp then you become The Hunted
and they can smell your ass from miles away.
And only this garlic misleads them so better take these pills.
Don't try to barf it. You'll need them if you don't want to get killed.
Because you're half man, half vamp, as if you were my son.
Son of The Chosen One!
The Hunted: 101
Vamps can walk in the light of the sun.
They don't sparkle 'cause that's super dumb.
Stakes and crosses can all go ignored.
Gotta cut off their heads with a sword.
Now the fight against evil has spread.
Slayers everywhere fighting undead.
Portland, Tampa, they know what to do.
Compton, Ithaca, that became you.
And you're all screwed just like me.
We're The Chosen Ones and that's our destiny.